Back when I was in middle school, I had a
school assignment to tell a story about one of my ancestors. My Mom and Dad
didn't know much about our past, so they really couldn't tell me a whole lot.
Seeing me walk away with a bit of a disappointed look must have sparked the
desire to find out where we came from, because within a year of that
assignment, they had become family tree researching MACHINES. They had family
tree software everywhere, folders filled with printed out documents laying
around, a contact book with names of people I had never heard of, and
"How-To" guides on researching through old records. Our family
computer area was covered in these things all the way up until I graduated high
school. My dad uncovered family members as far back as the early 1800's, and my
mom found so many VERY inspiring stories about the men and women we come from.
I won't go into those because there were so many that I am proud of. My
favorite story however, is the one she uncovered about Joseph Lane.
My Mom and Aunt had always been told that
their father had left them (not wanting anything to do with them,) and was
later killed. Simple as that, no questions asked, no details. They accepted
that. While my mom was looking back into records, she had hit a bump when she
was looking for her father's death certificate (this was after my Grandmother
had passed away.) She was able to locate a cousin however, who was also doing
some serious genealogy. When she met with her cousin for the first time, and
asked about Joe Lane, she got the shock of a lifetime! Not only had he NOT
died... but she had his number, and he was living in California.
It took my mom
a while before she came to the decision to call him. She talked with my Aunt
about it, talked with us about it, and then decided she wanted to meet him. I
was in high school at the time, and didn't fully realize how important this was
for my Mom. Maybe she didn't realize at first either. After what I remember was
a very LONG conversation, she announced that we were going down to California
to meet him. Not only had he been looking for her and my Aunt, he was also not
the one who left all those years ago. He and my Grandmother were struggling to
make a living with a newborn, and a two year old. My Grandma was working
whatever jobs she could, and my Grandpa was trying to get acting gigs. Tired of
being trapped in a life she didn't want, my Grandmother left one night, and
took her kids back to her hometown in Washington. My Grandpa never saw them
again.
When my Mom heard his side of the story, it was like a weight was lifted
off her shoulders. I saw first hand how she had been holding in this feeling of
resentment, or rejection, that I had never known about. Maybe she didn't fully
know about it either... or had just accepted it over the years. The California
trip where I met my Grandfather for the first time, was also a trip where I got
to see into my Mother's soul a little bit. She is a very guarded woman, always
keeping her emotions hidden so she can focus on everyone else. Seeing the
effect this moment had on her was priceless. Absolutely priceless. Then
learning about a Grandfather I thought I didn't have, was also wonderful! Turns
out he was an actor, a director, a writer, a builder, a train engineer, an
artist, and so many other things. He had so many talents, and so many stories,
it was a pleasure to have been able to meet him before he passed away. After he
passed, Mom and I were able to spread his ashes, something I know she never
thought she would do. I hold those memories close to my heart, and thank the
universe that my Mom was able to meet her father.
Mom uncovered many family stories from the
Civil War, Native American history, Pioneering days, but this story is by far
my favorite. Thank you for the chance to share it.
Submitted by: Angelique
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